It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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