Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
