I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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