Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
