found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
