I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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