It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
