My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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