I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
