I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
