I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
