Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Randomize
