Me. At least after what I've been through.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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