i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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