she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
