Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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