I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
