I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Come see our sink grown plant.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
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