you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
