Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
