his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
