the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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