my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
