The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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