Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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