Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
