She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Randomize
