Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
