why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize