butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
