saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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