'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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