you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Bring me that man meat
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Drunk is not a location!
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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