I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
