i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
