yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
