Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
