in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
