6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
