just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
