Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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