Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
