I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
