Michael Bay diarrhea
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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