Sry I called you an 8
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
