How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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