I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
