Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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