Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
