sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
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