Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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