it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
