Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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