He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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