Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Couch. On fire.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
