Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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