As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
