using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
