you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
