no, he came in my armpit
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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